I Have Dreamed of You so Much

I have dreamed of you so much that you are no longer real. Is there still time for me to reach your breathing body, to kiss your mouth and make your dear voice come alive again?

I have dreamed of you so much that my arms, grown used to being crossed on my chest as I hugged your shadow, would perhaps not bend to the shape of your body. For faced with the real form of what has haunted me and governed me for so many days and years, I would surely become a shadow.

O scales of feeling.

I have dreamed of you so much that surely there is no more time for me to wake up. I sleep on my feet prey to all the forms of life and love, and you, the only one who counts for me today, I can no more touch your face and lips than touch the lips and face of some passerby.

I have dreamed of you so much, have walked so much, talked so much, slept so much with your phantom, that perhaps the only thing left for me is to become a phantom among phantoms, a shadow a hundred times more shadow than the shadow the moves and goes on moving, brightly, over the sundial of your life. — by Robert Desnos

The path between life and death is treacherous and dangerously narrow, but we must travel it within life. Each day we have an opportunity to change our outlook shift our energy, time, and mindset towards crafting our lives. Life is too short not to go for it, to find love, be vulnerable, and pursue our dreams. None of us, including myself, knows what the future holds. But today, we can do something to foster a better tomorrow while being positive, caring individuals in another person’s life. We don’t require answers to get started, just empowering questions and an approach to never-give-up on anyone we love or ourselves.

Our choice lies within, our dreams lie within, as does our greatness regardless of the uncertainty of tomorrow. To manifest life’s aspirations into reality, each of us must engage in unswerving actions, sacrifices, perseverance, disciplines, and an unwavering conviction to become better and not bitter.

My grandpa’s final message to a young Brian was to be a good human being. When we cheat the process of getting better, we cheat ourselves. When we fool ourselves, we cheat the gift of life. Together let’s continue to find time for our self-discovery, alone or together, as the journey to discern between what the world imagines of us and what we believe of ourselves.

What we assume of ourselves, the one’s we love, and our connection with our minds will always matter, favourably at the end of the day.

—Brian Nadon