Anger is a paralyzing emotion. You can’t get anything done in that headspace.
People sort of think it’s an interesting, passionate, and igniting feeling – I don’t think it’s any of that – it’s helpless… It’s absence of control and I need all of my skills, all of the control, all of my powers, all of the time.
How many times have you lost your composure by a bad call during a hockey game or became bitter with an employee or work matter? As a parent, how angry do you become when your child misbehaves? Sometimes more often than you think.
Our actions represent our behaviors to those observing us. Once a coach, parent or leader allow anger to enter their lives it then becomes “the norm” for everyone else.
How can we avoid this, or what can we do to remind ourselves how not to let our emotions and anger take over?
We can preach, teach, and demand that our children, players and employees stay present in the moment. The minute we lose our anger, we drift away from the present. How can we expect those around us to remain present? We teach execution and task, which allows us to be prepared and present, yet, once we lose our anger, we lose all hope of performance and responsibility. One emotional outburst can cause a loss of focus.
Understand partial truths. There is a high probability that the reason you became filled with anger is not valid, or at least just a half-truth. How many times have you argued with someone only to realize there point later on? You might not agree, however, the day after you realize you overreacted to a partial truth.
When we lose our temper, we lose control of the vital progression of teaching and leading – Approach/Results/Response. If we spend too much time getting angry over the results, we never have time for the response. And we all know you cannot become a stellar leader without great answers and solutions.
Rise again. If we get struck down, we will overcome as long as we start the process of getting up. Stuck down – Rise again keeps emotional anger at bay and allows people to stay in the moment.
Anger does not make your family, friends, team, organization, students or you perform at a higher level and peak performance. As I often remind myself, “I need all of my skills, all of the control, all of my powers and anger doesn’t provide any of that.”
Don’t get stuck in being angry. Remain mindful of these strategies while rising above the obstacles and adversity.
By Brian Nadon
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